Premarital Prep Sessions
We know that getting married needs a huge amount of preparation, but we overwhelmingly interpret the task in practical terms. We worry a lot about event’s looks, style and devote extraordinary attention to many other things. And yet when people look back on a failed union and wonder where the mistakes might have arisen, they rarely come to the conclusion that the fault really lay in an ill-judged floral display or unsuccessful engagement attire.
MAC’s Premarital Prep Sessions gifts a couple with the opportunity to see what issues couples usually face and how best to deal with the other’s psyche as they embark on a new phase of life.
For our marriage counselor Bicky Kuriappan, skill deficits often lie at the heart of couples’ inability to create happy, stable, long-lasting marriages.
“Most of the couples who come to me for relationship difficulties lack sufficient marriage communication skills,” the Kerala-based practitioner says. “They almost all need to learn how to talk more cooperatively about sensitive issues, make important decisions in a mutual way, and express their anger in nonthreatening ways, and share affection, appreciation and assistance.”
Undergirding all of Bicky’s work is an emphasis on conflict resolution. She teaches couples to move from staking out initial positions and defending them, to cooperatively laying out their concerns and creating win-win solutions.
A marriage is a commitment between two people that may have differing views on certain issues. Numerous research studies over the years have proven that talking about these things before your wedding day can significantly affect the success of a marriage.
By knowing what your partner expects from your life together, you will be better prepared to handle these situations as your relationship grows. It’s a good idea to review these questions with your partner.
These first questions may be the most important. If you don’t know why you’re getting married or have different views of where you’ll be in a few decades, it could cause problems down the road. Ask yourselves:
If you have not lived with your partner before marriage, sharing a home can be surprising. Sometimes it’s the seemingly insignificant things that can get under your skin and cause bigger problems than expected. Think about:
While religion and spiritual beliefs may be taboo topics for polite society, they can play a big role in your marriage. Consider these questions:
Money can cause a lot of stress in a family, and studies show that finances are one of the leading causes of divorce. You don’t necessarily have to agree on everything, and maybe one of you is better at certain aspects of it than others. As a partnership, dealing with your financial future together and understanding short-and long-term goals is a wise move. Think about these issues:
Not every couple wants to have kids, but it’s a good idea to keep an open dialogue about it. These questions lay a foundation for continuing this conversation later:
Every family is different, so understanding how your future spouse grew up and their relationship with parents and siblings today will be very helpful. After all, you’re each marrying into a new family, so it’s best to try and understand them. Talk about:
Sex and Intimacy
No relationship can survive on sex alone, and intimacy is just as important. While you might think you know a lot about your partner’s views on either, it’s wise to have a serious conversation about it before marriage.
Also, some of these questions get into topics like jealousy, loyalty, and self-esteem. As a supportive partner, you’ll find them to be beneficial reminders for what your spouse may be going through emotionally. Consider these questions about physical intimacy:
Conflict and Communication
You’ve probably heard that communication is key to a good marriage, and it’s true. Your life together will be filled with important decisions, trying times, and some conflict. It’s a natural part of spending your life with another person. You can start it off right by talking about how you’ll handle these situations when they come up: